This few days I really feel depressed and frustrated... always form group with that three people only...want to make new friends also cannot... As I already know, once I choose the wrong gang of people...then "hancurlah" my life!!! My HE assignment only get 23 marks out of 30 marks... and the more worse in my HE test... Haha...as I already know...sure "hancur" one... I get 22 out of 40. Teruknya!! I also have calculated on my coursework marks for HE...and if not wrong, I need to do very well in the Exam in order to get a "A" which I think it is IMPOSSIBLE!!! Haha...and yesterday, I just done my HE presentation...hmm, actually not too satisfied with the marks but...just accepted it lo....what to do??

I always thinking about the same thing throughout the week... SHOULD I CONTINUE MYSELF IN CS??? Huh, as I am not good in my Chinese... I feel that myself very useless and I started to feel "自卑" as I seemed can't contribute anything to the society and I keep on asking on my senior...what sports is the most easy to get the 2 credit hours?? I keep on finding ways to "escape" from CS. But by the way, I really like CS very much. Just because I can't speak fluently in Chinese, sometimes I just dare not voice up my opinions... as I don't how to tell some words in Mandarin. Haiz...what to do?? Who ask me don't know Chinese??

I keep on telling myself that I can do it. But eventually I can't do anything. I keep on struggling on what decision should I make.... I even asked my best friends' advice. Two of them ask me to quit as it seemed to be a burden to me... but my dear, Pei Shin give me opinion to me that I should give a try and try to manage both my study and co-q.... But the things I most worry about is that I scared I will lose my scholarship... I scared I can't do well in my study if I enter CS as this society is a damn busy society in the entire college... Haha!!! I also don't understand why I will enter this society at first...

Haha...today feel extremely sad...and my friends keep on asking me why I look like a corpse and walk like a corpse!! Sure like a corpse la...a lot of tension ma!! Tests, assignments, exam and CS!!! I feel that I can't manage all of them at the same time...and this week I really cried a lot. What to do... except release all my sadness through the tears that rolling down to my cheeks?? I even think of "放弃" but I really cannot give up this opportunity as I really lucky to be the chosen one...haha!! I even think of not attending the meeting for today but... I keep on telling myself to keep on trying!! I struggle for a long time and I finally end up with a conclusion which is continue myself in CS.

My mom told me that if I already worked hard...if the scholarship is really forgone, then also nothing can be done except that I need to pay my own money lol...but I think I will still got some discount geh...haha!! Staff rate!! So, what Kenix should do is try my best to get a "A" for every unit but I really know that it is a "MISSION IMPOSSIBLE"... so just try my best not to fail a single unit lo...then I think this mission, I can still handle geh!!! Tomorrow got QS test arr... very scare but I just can do one thing which is try my best... just try to pass!!!

Haha...tomorrow night is the O'Night but I won't go as a student but as a staff's daughter and thus I don't need to very dinner dress...HAHA!!! Kenix...gambateh and 下乡 gambateh!! Hope that I can really manage both of them la... GOD BLESS!!! Good night!!! Wakaka...


confusing kenix signing out @ 11.58pm

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Huh.....at last I am back after ages of time....
don't know why suddenly got interest to post a blog.....
haiz.....today when i wake up in the morning......I thought today is Sunday......then i quickly get up from bed.......
after taking my bath.....only I realised that today is Saturday.....How clumsy am I???? I thought I am late for tuition......
then my mum ask me to buy breakfast for her....but at last we turned up to take our breakfast outside cause my mum and I with my uncle and aunt....when to see my mum's new MYVI......I am waiting for that car.....so that I can drive it after i get my "P".....today is a busy day for me as my phone is kept on singing...."It's too late to apologize"....
haha...that's my phone message alert la.......a friend have ask me whether I am interested to go the church....
to learn music instrument.....actually I am longing to go to the church so that I can learn to play guitar....but then I am not brave enough to go there by myself.......huh.........What can I do...???Should I go??
let's put this question aside first...cause this few week will be a busy day for me.....
addition maths.....I need some help.....I can't do all those questions la....
luckily Wilson had help me to solve some of them.....okay la....nothing much to write.....better back to do my add maths....

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lately i really "fan" la........
i dun noe wat i wan to do............holidays start liao but i feel that i have wasted my holidays liao....i wan revise but i din do tat......then i will be going for the scout campfire.....for three days....no preparations are made...............very disappointed of myselfnowadays i oli know how to mapling...........but sumtimes i play games oso feel very "sian" la....really no use liao me........now cough like hell n my voice oso change liao.........like ghost la......my voicei think after the campfire.......i can go for ujian komputer.........n start my form 5 studies.......i hope i can do that la...............i really very grateful to my seniors........those form 5 de who giv or lend me their notes....reference books n oso exercise books........thanks to u all...............ok la......2moro need to go to pasar with my team member......wan go beli "sayur" hahahanow wan watch tv first......"the gentle crackdown" then later watch dvd
holidays = wasting

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actually who am i???i m a gurl with a lotz of problems....problematics gurl i think............i am a gurl who mayb seem to be happy.....but the fact is i m not as happy as ppl think........i am a gurl with a lotz of stress....tension all the times........but still.......i won't let ppl to know how stress am i...!!!i m a gurl who like to keep all my secret in deep of my heart.....thus ppl always think tat i m a mysterious gurl......(mayb)i am gurl who like to made a lotz of noise in class....although sumtimes....i seem to be quiet..........as u noe la...my add maths teacher always scold mefor being noisy wo......but i din feel that i m as noisy as my other frenz....but he din scold them oso......oli scold me!!! ???i am a gurl who seem to be very friendly.........but actually i m friendly la....if i hav know the person very well...if not i'll be a gurl who is quite shy.......i dun like to talk to ppl that i m not close v........i m a gurl who dun like to make the first move in watever way......i surely won't make my first move if i wan to made new frenz.......shy i think....i am oso a gurl who hate ppl talk bad things bhind my back....and i m oso a gurl who very "kecil hati".....i think so...wat else i can say about myself le...???i am oso a gurl who dun hav trust in anyone....cuz i hav once been betrayed by my best frenz.........since then........i hav no trust in anyone......n i dun believe in frenz....thus....i dun hav best friend after all..........haiz........eh.......i oso dun noe wat to say bout myself lo......yeah....b4 i forget....i am a gurl who is very violent.....last time....i love to bully the boyz.....but since i go to secondary school....my violent hav decrease lo......gurl....should be so violent ke???but i still like to bully my bro......ok la...i think tat's all for today...........i wanna continue to watch my tv lo.....hahaha

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