今天我很不开心。The reason I feel unhappy is my family is not supporting on me.

Hey, do you that I have a lot of stress these days?? I just want to express my unsatisfactory towards something. Why can't you just understand my conditions?? Always telling me that others didn't complain this and that while I always complaining everything. Hey, come on!! Why should others tell you their feelings...if they really have problems, they also won't tell you everything la...you are not their family.

Do you have ever supporting on my decision?? No!!! You didn't!!! Whenever I complain about my college life. You will always splashing me with cold water. You always say "You should study for Form Six. Then you can enter local university." But do you really understand what my wants are??? I don't like Form Six since I was in Form 4. I hate Form Six!!

Whatever I done is wrong. On the other hands, whatever both your son do is always right. They play the computer all days, you won't make a single noise but if I play the whole days, you will start scolding me. Even your son fails his Add Maths, you never ask him not to play the computer. He always msn with girls and you never scold him. This is really unfair.

I don't mind that you do not support on me. But please don't make me question on my decison that I have made. Oh, please la...KCL!! You only get ? marks for your Add Maths and you even XXXX 4 of your subjects in the MYT. You tries to make fun of me. Saying that if I am a lawyer, I will become 哑巴 when I see the judge. What about you?? You will piss in your pants when you see the judge la. What I hate the most is that you support your son and together making fun of me. I tell you, I HATE you!!! And I am warning you, KCL. You don't ever making fun of me anymore, you idiot buffalo!!! You think you are very smart, gah??? Please stop dreaming la!! I tell you, I won't let myself fail the exam geh!! I want to prove to you that among your children, I am the best. The ends.

Friend, thanks for your comment. About the interview that day, I think I had passed la...feel so surprised.


T.T crying kenix signing out at 2.43am

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Today's feeling : 今天我觉得很丢脸。

Wow, it had been a long time I didn't post any blogs due to my busy college life. College's life is really tiring and not similar like secondary school. And of course, I always think that secondary school life is my best moments in life. I miss it a lot. But that had become the history of my life meaning that I won't have another secondary school life, so what I have to do now is concentrating on my studies in college and thinking about my future. And just try to forget the past.

But recently, I always thinks whether I have made a correct choice to study at TAR College. Many people keep asking me the same question. Guess what is the question?? The question is "Hah, you are studying at TAR College?? How many As you get?? Why don't you study Form 6?? Why don't you go for a better college or university??" All these questions are making me crazy. Am I picking the right choice??? No, I don't know! I know I shouldn't think of all these anymore but I have some regret feeling in my heart now and making me feeling sad all days.

As in my college life, we must have 2 credit hours in order to pass the co-curriculum unit. And what I have done to ensure that I can get the 2 credit hours, I make up my mind to enter 下乡服务团. As I am a non-mandarin student, I am having difficulties in speaking that language fluently. I undergoes the first interview and I managed to pass it... but today or maybe just now, I just have another interview but I think I'll fail this time. My mandarin is so 乱七八糟 and I think they won't let me pass one. I feel so 丢脸 about the interview just now. I campur all my languages like a bowl of rojak and I really don't know whether they can get what I say.

Nowadays, only left me alone. All of them are leaving one by one. Lee Teck had gone to UNITEN on last Friday/Saturday and Mabel also had gone to KL this morning. By the way, Yugathes will be leaving us too in the next 2 weeks. Meaning that all the 5 Science 1 's students had gone to somewhere else, except me and those who are doing their STPM.

Huh, it's very late now and I should go to bed right away. Tomorrow still have 3 Tutorial Class and I haven't started on my QS questions. OMG, what a busy week this is!!!
This week will have QS test and then next week will have Accounting test and also Hubungan Etnik test... tiring!!! Assignments and presentations are all coming together in Week 6 & 7.


丢脸的 kenix signing out @ 1.27am

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You were born on 19th day of March 1991, Tuesday.

Your Life : You are great in managing everything in your life and this is how you gain respect from others. Because of this quality, you sometimes feel that you are better than the rest. Extreme confidence might lead you to the wrong path. You are a free bird and want to lead your own life.

Your Love : You love life is rather different from others'. When you are in love, nothing can stop you. You may often fight with your partner but, soon after that,you will make up in a way that surprises others.

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Yesterday I had done some quiz in Facebook. One of them is about "What is the theme song in your life?" Being curious of it, I had done the quiz and the result of the theme song in my life is "Learn to Fly by Foo Fighters". As I never heard of this song before, I try to search for this song in one of my music software. Despite finding this song from the above singer, I found "Learn to Fly by A1". I think this song is really suitable to be my theme song although this song is actually not the result of the quiz. I feel that the song lyrics really describe my feelings.

Let me share the lyrics with you all:

When you feel the dream is over

Feel the world is on your shoulders

And you lost the strength to carry on

Even though the walls may crumble

And you find you always stumble through

Remember never to surrender to the dark

Cuz if you turn another page

You will see that’s not the way

The story has to end

And if you need to find a way back

Feel you’re on the wrong track

Give it time, you’ll learn to fly

Tomorrow is a new day

And you will find your own way

You’ll be stronger with each day that you cry

Then you’ll learn to fly

In your head, so many questions

The truth is your possession

The answer lies within your heart (within your heart)

You will see the doors are open

If you only dare to hope

And you will find a way to fight

The fears that kept you down

Cuz if you turn another page

You will see that’s not the way

The story has to end

And if you need to find a way back

Feel you’re on the wrong track

Give it time, you’ll learn to fly

Tomorrow is a new day

And you will find your own way

You’ll be stronger with each day that you cry

Then you’ll learn to fly

Looking at your situation

There’s so much that you can do

Now’s the time to make your stand

This is just an observation

In the end it’s up to you

The future’s in your hands

And if you need to find a way back

Feel you’re on the wrong track

Give it time, you’ll learn to fly

Tomorrow is a new day

And you will find your own way

You’ll be stronger with each day that you cry

Then you’ll learn to fly

Give it time

Then you’ll learn to fly

Hmm, I love this song so much. Later I may post this song to my blog to let you all listen to it.


Today my friend, Chun Hung had come back from S'pore. Still feeling glad that he haven't forget us. Just now he just came to my house and we have so chit-chatting. Yoke Yin will be back on 19th June. Hope can see them all soon. Congratz to Yugathes as he will be further his studies at Australia after finish the SAM from Taylor. Wish him all the best!!! Friendship is always forever!!! After graduate, do forget me arr!!!


signing out @ 10.48pm by kenix

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Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

This test is really true la...almost 95% accurate!!!


signing out @9.16pm by kenix

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This morning is our Talent Time performances...

I am extremely nervous this morning and I seemed to have forgotten all the dancing steps... OMG lol!!! But finally we have successfully performed the dance. Even though I have forgotten some dance steps in the middle of the performance.... Haiz!!! No talent really no talent.

All the other performance from other group is really entertained. Hmm, today is the most entertain day.... Huh, although our group doesn't win any prizes but I think no problem la as long as we feel happy!!!

This is the picture of all the members of Group 13... (some of them have gone back hometown ady)

And this is the picture of our group flag (nice mou)

signing out @ 10.30pm by kenix

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Today I didn’t go to college as I was so lazy to play all those station games…so bored and tiring!!!

Then at night, we have some dancing practice at Nerriza’s house again. Huh…although the dancing steps is not too difficult but it’s still a burden for me…. All these dancing practice reminded me of the dancing practice I have during I was in Form 2. Hing Wai asked me, Ai Nee, How Lai and Shok Yien to join a Dancing Competition during a gathering at St.Michael (if not mistaken). Huh… those time is so tiring as we practice almost every day!!!

We practice and practice until 1.40am. I know that my MOM is very worried about me… but I can’t just leave as we haven’t finish practice. Alamak… I think I have forgotten the steps lol…. Aiyoyo…my memories is really terrible la!!! Can’t remember anything geh…. Hoh!!! Feel so sleepy right now. Good night and wish I can remember the steps by tomorrow.


signing out @ 2.10am by kenix

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Hmm…, I think today is better than yesterday. As today we were entertained with the performance by the societies and clubs.

Luckily Cu Van and Xiu Juan got come to college…so that I won’t feel so lonely. Today also, I was able to make a few friends. So sorry that I just remember two of their names, which is Ka Mun and Li Fang (just ignore the spelling)… and another girl if not mistaken is called “Kit Wen”.

Just have a lot of fun today!!! Then, at night, which is just now… we are drawing our flag and also planning on our dance movement at Nerriza’s house. Huh…feel so glad that Nerriza helps us to draw the flag!!! Then we (girls) paint the flag. But I am so sorry that I can’t help finish painting the flag…feel so sorry!!!

Haiz!!! Now I am having headache in choosing my Co-Curriculum…. What should I choose??? I actually want to join the Christian Fellowship but I’m not a Christian. Will that be a problem??? OMG!!! What societies or clubs should I join??? So ma fan la….

signing out @ 11.50pm by kenix

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Today is the beginning of another new chapter in my life where I started my new life as a college student at TAR College. It’s a totally different lifestyle I have never experienced before. Why I say so??? It’s because I started this whole new life all by myself. Now I am thinking about my friends… I miss them so much!!! I wish they can study with me but I know the wish will never come true.

Today when I reached the college main gate, I feel so nervous and strange of that place even though I have been there for many times already and I even worked at there before. This reminds me about my working experience as an Examination Attendant. After registered, I went to Auditorium to collect my t-shirt and a file. Huh…, the t-shirt is so large for me!!!

I was grouped into GROUP 13. After we introduced ourselves, we were told to think a slogan for our group. Haha… we don’t have to think of it as our AGF had think the slogan for us. The slogan sounds like this:
Group 13… we’re the best
Group 13… we beat the rest
Group 13… sakai sakai sakai all the way………
Ma Chi Ke Ni………

Hmm… I feel so glad that I can make some new friends today. They are Cu Van, Xiu Juan and Carmen. Three of them are really friendly and funny. After lunch, we have our Mass Call where we need to read our declaration. Then we have to listen to Dr.Choy’s talk. After the event, we were told that we will be having a “Talent Time” this coming Friday. As Nerriza (our group AGF) draws the number 1, we have to dance. OMG!!! Dancing? Dancing is my weak point…I can’t dance!!! Nerriza told us to think what dance to be performed but of course we can’t think of it la…

She told us if we can’t think of a dance, she will ask us to dance SAKAI dance as our group is the sakai group…. Wakakaka!!! So crazy!!! Huh, tomorrow will be a tough day for me as three of my new friends told me that they will not be coming tomorrow. Aiyo…, I will be lonely Kenix tomorrow!!! Never mind lolz…cause I already used to it. All I need to do is to wish myself “good luck”!!! [^O^]

signing out @ 11.33pm by kenix

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Today suppose to be a day to be remembered as I will be going back to school to take prize for SPM. This should be a happy day for all of us. But all this had turned into a DISASTER.

Today I went back to school at around 9.10am. I just wear a slack and a t-shirt with some words on it as I don’t have any other proper wear. I thought that as I was not wearing any jeans, I will be okay. But those blind people really can’t differentiate slack and jeans. But after I tell that what I am wearing is not jeans but slack, they have nothing to say and just say “Okay, you can go.” But once I turned and wanted to went upstairs…I was stopped again by -a---n. Can you guess what she says to me?? Oh... 我的天! She said that my t-shirt got the word “WHISKY”...and says “How come you wear a t-shirt like that in this kind of function?”

Oh, Madam...Whisky is just a normal word what... If I am wearing a shirt with the words like SEX or F--K, then you scold me la... I really can’t stand this school la... What the hell... I am so frustrated that time... Hey, come on!! Who will look so detail on my t-shirt? Then I said that my house is far away but they say I so smart in giving reasons. If I am not smart, I will not be here today. But they insisted that I go home and change my cloth. Okay, as Puan Leong advises me to go home and change, so I went home. But all my other t-shirt doesn’t suit with my slack. So after thinking for a while, I decided to wear my new skirt and long sleeve t-shirt. Oh my god, how come the teachers and those guests so troublesome ones! This time is even worse than the previous one. This time they say my skirt is short and my t-shirt is tight.

Crazy de meh?? My skirt is just 1cm above my knee. If this consider short, I really don’t know how to measure long? Hey, we’re young girls not “mak cik”! What they assume us to wear? My t-shirt is tight? I think that is not called tight but fit. Of course, when we buy t-shirt, we will choose the ones which fit us and not too loose. Is that right? I think if I really wear I loose t-shirt, they will complain that I look untidy. So I really don’t know what they want us to do?

This school no hope already ge la...Give people some reward also noisy here and there. Hey, give some face to us la, we just come back and take prize only what. Just tolerate a bit la. We’re no longer the student of this school, can’t they treat us as outsiders. Busybody only...why don’t they scold the parents who are not properly dressed?? Crazy de... I feel like crying...(my tears are falling down to my cheek) You won’t understand how I feel that time...so bad.

So disappointed that I can’t get my prize myself even though I wear so formal already. Hey, that is my office wear!! Not formal enough meh?? Haiz....really not in a good mood today!!!

~# signing out ~# kenix @ 11.40pm

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